Bits O' Brains: How You Can MovieGhoul Too

Having trouble expressing how awesome a movie is? Flustered by how pointless the film you just finished watching was? Ready for me to stop asking you rhetorical questions?

MovieGhoul can be an outlet for not only my thoughts on film and moviemaking, but yours as well. And that's why you can join the zombie horde and shamble along to the forums with movie reviews and/or suggestions.

But enough about what zombies can do to help the movie-going community. Now let's talk about how you, yes---YOU, can tell if film flesh is fresh...or miserably and hopelessly rotten. Is the flick you saw today, yesterday, last week, or years ago (if you can remember) measurably good or bad? Here's how you can decide.

What did you take away from the movie altogether? Were you feeling dazed or mildly introspective after being blown away by the Joker's antics after seeing 'The Dark Knight'? Were you hopelessly tangled in a web of useless plot after sitting through the emotionally-discharged 'Spider-Man 3?' Measure the amount of care you had for the message from the film, or consider what the director was trying to accomplish by making the movie. Of course, after you spend some time not thinking about the film, and then it comes back to you...there may be a change in how you feel about what it was trying to say. Looking back is a huge factor in how you remember the motion picture and what you think about when you recall images and flashes from the acting and the plot. Consider this when you write a review, and look back at that moment when you left
the theater or got up from the couch to move on with your daily routine.

What was the acting like? One bad example would be Anakin Skywalker's miserably monotonous portrayal in 'Star Wars: Episode II' (I feel some nerd spittle coming on...). If it weren't for the torturous love sequences and droll moments of the two actors just looking at each other, that movie would have been some decent flesh; but for some reason, George Lucas found the need to exacerbate the viewer's suffering by leaving those sequences within the film and let them drag on with all intention to make one person suicidal in less than 130 minutes.
So yes, there is a bad example---and a good example? Well, pretty much all the actors in 'The Lord of the Rings' series. I mean, Peter Jackson only had to precariously snap his fingers and he would get buckets of tears from any of those professionals. Sam cried for Frodo, Bilbo cried because he was old, Aragorn cried because---he wanted to cry. I can only make a generalization as it has been...oh, say...six years since the last film released. But even I can recall that one fact. That's how pro that acting team was. And that's all you would have to remember.

Consider the story. Did it make sense? Or, more sensibly, did you grasp what was going on as events unfolded on-screen? Think about the tone of the movie. Was it like 'Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgendy'? In which case, the tone stayed the same throughout by keeping the laughs in step with the story. Or was it like 'Paul Blart', which was funny---but kept switching from a drama to a comedy inconsistently throughout different twelve minute periods (figuratively, of course). Write in your review about how the story evolved and the setting changed in comparison to some other element of the plot. Did you like the story's outcome and it's development? Remember, be sparing with your zombie-heads. Do with them what your grandma said not to do with your birthday profits. Don't spend them all in one place.

Hopefully this gave you enough juicy brains to write your own reviews or comments. Make that movie you just finished watching well worth your valuable time. Spread the word about fresh flesh, or otherwise, and make your undead groans heard.

Your brains are valuable to us.